Whoever you are and wherever you are in your writing adventure, you have an idea of what constitutes success. For some, the definition of success is getting their book published by a publisher, for others it is a million-dollar advance or household-name fame on a J.K Rowling Harry Potter scale, for others it is selling more than 100,000 copies. Perhaps you crave kudos in the press or from peers, winning the Booker prize or making the New York Times bestseller list.

For most, publishing is a tough business. So many people have a dream to write a novel, but that dream can quickly be diluted. For a start, the demands of current bookselling markets can be restrictive — you may have a deep desire to write speculative fiction, but if you are writing it at a time when speculative fiction is not selling well, it is going to be hard to get published. Besides, you most likely need money, so you need to use your time to earn money, which means instead of writing what you are passionate about, you have to write what sells.

But the biggest dilution of success comes from within. Indeed, some people never feel successful, because their achievements are never enough for them. A writer may gain a hefty advance, be published by a well-known publisher, sell many copies, then one negative review can bring a feeling of failure. A writer who has written an amazing book with impressive factual research and 500 compelling pages can feel like a failure if they are rejected by one publisher.

The truth is not everyone is going to become the J.K. Rowlings of this world. But there is more than enough room for abundant success for the writer without this. There is no need to dilute your dream with self-imposed feelings of failure. The ultimate secret to success as a writer is simple – define your own success.

The first success

The first success for every book writer is to finish the book. Only 3% of writers finish their novel, so if you have finished your tome you should be feeling very successful. You should be celebrating your motivation, dedication, vision and perseverance. After all, you have achieved something that 97% of people did not.

Tier your successes

One key to feeling successful is to tier your successes. Once you have finished your book, your next success could be to show it to 10 people. It can be difficult to show your novel to people, so merely unveiling it is a success.

How to devise your success

The idea is to make your successes achievable, flexible and realistic, and to celebrate them when you get there.

Focus on the writing

Even more importantly, remember writing is a joy, and self-expression and self-actualisation can feel amazing; don’t let your idea of success rob you of this. Writing is like relationships - when you love, you've already won*

Your opinion is the one that counts

It is imperative that your successes do not depend on other people’s opinions of you. If people you show your manuscript to have ‘negative’ comments, you can take them on board as positive suggestions on how you can improve your book. The definition happens in your mind. You have power over your reactions. How you define their comments will define how successful you feel.

Remember positive emotion is going to help your project and negative emotion is going to eat away at it. If you feel negative it’s going to be difficult for you to submit your work to a publisher or even publish it yourself, let alone sell it to readers.

You need to be able to believe in yourself and your work. Your success is up to you. When soliciting feedback or submitting to publishers, even one negative voice among ten positive voices can bring you down. Don’t let that one negative opinion drown out your inner convictions. Your work has been a result of passion and often draws on the best of what is inside you.

As Apple founder Steve Jobs said in his commencement address at Stanford in June of 2005: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

* A repurposed quote from the very deep film Racing Stripes

An expanded version of this article appears in the book Get Your Book Off the Ground: What You Need to Know to Write and Publish a Book. Suzanne Male is publisher of Smink Works Books. She is author of A Year of Writing Inspiration: A prompt a day for the creative writer.